Friday, April 23, 2010

How to Say no After You've already said YES


Once you have sex with your BF, can you still tell him no? Of course!

At some point, every virgin faces the big "will you, won't you?" sex question, but once you've gone all the way, does the question go away? No.

Once you've had sex with a guy, it does not mean you have to do it every time you see him -- in fact, telling him you want to wait before the second time is a good way to find out if he's really into you. Any guy who's worth your time will be more interested in getting into your heart than your pants. If sex is the most important thing in your relationship, perhaps it's not the best match for you. The "virgin decision" is not the only decision you make when it comes to sex -- it's a decision you make each time you do or don't.

Then there are times when you've already said yes in the heat of the moment (or in response to pressure) -- but you change your mind. Is it still okay to say no when you're in the middle of yes? Yes.

Your body is yours and you can deny access at any time. No matter how mad he might get, if you're no longer into it, it's your right to end it. But, try to avoid it, indecisiveness comes off as game playing.

Bottom line: You are never obligated to be intimate with your guy, even if you've already slept with him. And you can always change your mind, no matter how far beyond kissing the makeout session has gone.

Saying no is always okay. And if you do say yes, make sure you play safe.

Read more here at The Tyra Show

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Congrats to PARADE All-America Girls Basketball Team!


by Michael O'Shea
Parade Magazine

If the names Chelsea Gray and Chiney Ogwumike sound familiar, it’s because both have been chosen as PARADE All-Americans twice before. This year, they have the added distinction of sharing Player of the Year honors on our 34th annual All-America High School Girls Basketball Team.

Gray, a 5-foot-11 point guard for St. Mary’s High in Stockton, Calif., helped keep the Rams in the nation’s top-ranked position for most of the year, averaging 18 points, 7 assists, and 6 rebounds per game.

“She’s a great all-around player, always working hard to improve,” St. Mary’s coach Tom Gonsalves says. “Chelsea could score 30 points every night; instead, she passes and gets our other players in the game. She’s an even better person than player, and a super student with a 3.6 GPA.” Gray will head to Duke next season.

A love of basketball runs in the family for Co-Player of the Year Ogwumike, a 6-foot-3 center at Cy-Fair High in Cypress, Tex. Her sister Nneka was named PARADE Co-Player of the Year in 2008, and Chiney has two younger siblings who also play the sport. But she isn’t likely to disappear into anyone’s shadow. This season, she averaged 23 points and 9.5 rebounds per game.

“Chiney has so much talent and outstanding leadership abilities,” Cy-Fair coach Ann Roubique says. “She has grown tremendously—not only as a player but as an individual. She’s an excellent teammate and an excellent role model, and she’s without a doubt a great representative of our school and our community.” A straight-A student who is active in her community and president of the student council, Ogwumike will join her sister Nneka at Stanford next year.

Gray and Ogwumike head a 40-player roster of standout athletes from 18 states and Washington, D.C. California leads the pack with nine All-Americans, including Co-Player of the Year Gray. The team was selected by coaches, scouts, and recruiters across the country.
Top Players

KALEENA MOSQUEDA-LEWIS Mater Dei High, Santa Ana, Calif.
ODYSSEY SIMS MacArthur High, Irving, Tex.
NATASHA HOWARD Waite High, Toledo, Ohio
ELIZABETH WILLIAMS Princess Anne High,Virginia Beach, Va.
RICHA JACKSON Midwest City High, Midwest City, Okla.
SHONI SCHIMMEL Franklin High, Portland, Ore.

Nortre Dame to have have its first Black Valedictorian!


A Gary, Indiana native will make history next month as the first black valedictorian from the University of Notre Dame.

Katie Washington, 21, is a biology major and minor in Catholic social teaching with a 4.0 GPA.

“I am humbled,” said Washington to the Northwest Indiana Times. “I am in a mode of gratitude and thanksgiving right now.”

University officials said they couldn’t recall ever having a black valedictorian, and don’t keep record of their race.

“Katie works so hard,” Washington’s mother Jean Tomlin said. “I told her when she went to Notre Dame, ‘You are representing your family, your church and the city of Gary. Make us proud.’”

She has definitely made her family proud and is following in their footsteps. Her father is a doctor, her mother and sister are nurses, one brother is completing his residency and another brother who works for British Petroleum.

“I have had so much support, people who really wanted to see that I reached my full potential,” Washington told nwitimes.com. “They all had my best interest at heart.”

Monday, March 15, 2010

Black Woman named High School Varsity Coach!


In a historic moment for women in sports, Washington D.C. science teacher Natalie Randolph has been named head coach of the Calvin Coolidge Senior High School football team, reports CNN. Randolph is believed to be the first female head varsity coach in the country.

"While I'm proud to be part of what this all means," she said at a new conference this week, "Being female has nothing to do with it. I love football, I love teaching, I love these kids. My being female has nothing to do with my support and respect for my players on the field and in the classroom..."

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

J-Hud's Shining Moment


Grammy and Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson has recorded a version of One Shining Moment , the song that plays each year at the end of the CBS broadcast of the NCAA men’s basketball title game. Hudson will be the first woman to sing it.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Beauty Pick: Stila Jewel Eyeshadow Palette


Want a new look for that weekend party? You have to pick up the latest from Stila. It's Jewel Eye Shadow formula creates a glistening wave of color that glimmers and sparkles across your lids like no other to give your eyes a brilliant, sequin-like reflection.

Shades include:
Rose Quartz: light pink with silver sparkle
Amethyst: grey eggplant with champagne sparkle
Black Diamond: black with silver sparkle
Golden Topaz: champagne shimmer with silver and gold sparkle

Our number 1 pick goes to Zoe Saldana!!!!!!
The “Avatar” star took a chance in a violet Givenchy couture gown. We loved the sparkling bodice and ruffled tulle skirt with the matching shoes!!! AMAZING!


We loved Nicole Richie as she appeared ready to disco the night away at the club in this vintage-inspired sequined Reem Acra dress and Judith Leiber clutch.


The Queen reigned supreme in a regal lavender figure-hugging satin gown, which she accessorized with diamonds and pink sapphires courtesy of Chopard.


The Best Actress nominee was absolutely “Precious” while working it in a blue off-the-shoulder Marchesa creation. Gabourey also won some extra points for her sass: “If fashion was porn, this dress is the money shot,” she laughed on the red carpet.

Mo'Nique Wins the Big One!


It's official--Mo'Nique is an Academy Award-winning actress. The stand-up comedian and late-night talk show host won Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal of a violent, abusive mother in Precious.

And her outfit made a statement -- not a fashion statement but a political one -- and to speak her mind about her win. As Mo'Nique told reporters after the awards ceremony, the reason she wore a blue dress and gardenias in her hair was to pay tribute to Hattie McDaniel, the first African American to win an Academy Award; McDaniel wore that color and that flower when she accepted her groundbreaking Oscar in 1940 for the movie Gone With the Wind.

Beauty Pick: Just for Me! Smoothing Edges Creme



When you want to rock a sleek and smooth hairstyle style, nothing's more irritating than the whole fuzzy-edges, new-growth-that-won't-lay-flat situation. The good news is, this product works wonders. Not just for little girls, Just for Me! Smoothing Edges Creme ($4.99) is great for frizzy flyaways along the hairline. This soy milk and honey-blended moisturizer sleekens hair in seconds and even smoothes out a tough-to-manage "kitchen".

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Props: X-Treme Motion Dance Team


The X-treme Motion crew from "America's Best Dance Crew" (ABDC) was one of the dance crews competing on Season 5 of the MTV reality series. X-treme Motion is from Houston, Texas, and is competing initially against other crews from the South. The X-treme Motion crew members are Chloe Barnes, Dominique Coleman-Perry, Olivia Harris, Jermani Justice, Precious Lowe and Trecia Mallet.

The members of the X-treme Motion crew are former Texas Southern University majorettes. X-treme Motion brought their bootylicious bucking style to the mainstream stage. The high energy, acrobatic, and stunt-filled Southern belles were on a mission to show the world their majorette style of dance is "often imitated but never duplicated." The X-treme Motion crew's style is influenced by both Street Jazz and Hip-Hop, but what really makes them distinct is an intense booty shaking move they call "BUCKIN."

Even though they didn't win, we luv their style!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Serena wins another Australian Open!


Serena Williams poses with the Daphne Akhurst Trophy after VICTORY IN HER WOMEN’S SINGLES FINAL MATCH against Belgian opponent Justine Henin at the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne on Friday, January 30.

Serena, who is the #1 ranked Female Tennis player in the world, also took home another doubles victory with her older sister, Venus Williams

Miss Virginia wins Miss America Pageant 2010


A 22-year-old Virginia woman who said she once thought her only talent was singing is the nation's newest Miss America, emerging from a field of 53 contestants picked for their beauty, compassion and interview savvy.

Caressa Cameron, a broadcast journalism student at Virginia Commonwealth University, now plans a second year away from college as she travels extensively to raise money for charity and carry the 89-year-old pageant's crown.

"I hope to gain inspiration, I hope to gain momentum so that when this 365 days is over, I can shoot through the moon," Cameron told The Associated Press.

Cameron, the first black Miss America since Ericka Dunlap in 2005, says she wants to get a master's degree and eventually become a news anchor.

Cameron, the daughter of a background researcher for the government and a contractor, said she was inspired to compete in pageants at age 14, when Miss Virginia 2003 Nancy Redd visited her school.

"At that time, all I knew that I could do was sing — that's all I had," the Fredericksburg, Va., native said.

Cameron said that after that visit, she decided to try out for a school musical, which snowballed into more opportunities in the arts, drama and other areas.

"More doors and more doors continued to open," she said. "It's so important that we reach our young people, because there are so many young people that are at the very same crossroads that I was at."

"We need those people to let them know that just because your circumstances are a certain way, you don't have to succumb to them," she said. "You can do something amazing, like become Miss America."

Cameron won the title and a $50,000 scholarship Saturday night after strutting in a skintight yellow dress, belting Beyonce's "Listen" from "Dreamgirls" and advising parents to limit video games and television when asked about childhood obesity during an onstage interview.

"We need to get our kids back outside, playing with sticks in the street like I did when I was little," she said. "Expand your mind, go outside and get to see what this world is like."

Congrats Caressa!!!!!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Gabourney Sidibe covers March issue of Ebony

Precious Star Gabourey Sidibe is covering the pages of the March issue of Ebony. And she’s dishing on working with Mo’Nique and director Lee Daniels changing her life. Essence Magazine reports:

With the Academy Awards right around the corner, Ebony moved far beyond the silver screen to zero in on the power of the image as it relates to African-Americans. For this March issue, Precious star and first-time film actor Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe provides the essential backdrop to help examine what power really means. In a league of her own, she has definitely defied the “classic beauty” image in today’s movie industry. Yet, she possesses the kind of inner strength, courage and freedom that most of us would love to call our own.

“I wake up with myself every morning, so the only opinion that really matters is mine,” says Sidibe.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!



Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! Did you know that this day is also known as the National Day of Service?

Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Life's most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?" And it is in that spirit that the National Day of Service takes place today, on a holiday celebrating a man who lived and died in service to others.

At the urging of President Barack Obama, all Americans are encouraged to roll up their sleeves today and volunteer to help others — as a way to honor Dr. King, and simply assist your fellow man.

"Recognizing that our Nation has yet to reach Dr. King's promised land is not an admission of defeat, but a call to action. In these challenging times, too many Americans face limited opportunities, but our capacity to support each other remains limitless," President Obama declared Friday in a proclamation related to MLK, Jr. Day and the National Day of Service.

For 365 ways to serve, click here.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Zoe Kravitz in Vanity Fair


Vanity Fair spotlights its "Women to Watch for in 2010" and includes actress Zoe Kravitz. The 21-year-old daughter of rocker Lenny Kravitz and actress Lisa Bonet has four films due out this year.

Gabby Sidibe shows her confidence


Golden Globe-nominated actress Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe recently posed for the February issue of Harpar’s Bazaar and spoke about her confidence and frustrations with the media.On doing the Harper’s Bazaar shoot:

On doing the Harper’s Bazaar shoot:
“I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight. It justifies that little girl who cried because she didn’t think she could be in front of the camera. And it’s for other girls who feel like they can’t do this or that and feel like they’re not pretty and not worthy of having their photo taken.”

On her confidence:
“People always ask me, ‘You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. I wear colors that I really like, I wear makeup that makes me feel pretty, and it really helps. It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see.”

On her frustration with some media synopsis’ of Precious:
“‘Gabby Sidibe is an overweight black girl who is illiterate and pregnant by her father,’” she parrots. “Look, I am black. I’m also overweight, but that’s not the point of the story. The point is the abuse and her bravery. This stuff happens to skinny people, to white people, to so many different people that they’ve missed the point if they say it’s about a fat girl.”

Are you kidding!!! H&M and Walmart destroy and trash unsold clothes!


This week the New York Times reported a disheartening story about two of the largest retail chains. You see, instead of taking unsold items to sample sales or donating them to people in need, H&M and Wal-Mart have been throwing them out in giant trash bags. And in the case that someone may stumble on these bags and try to keep or re-sell the items, these companies have gone ahead and slashed up garments, cut off the sleeves of coats, and sliced holes in shoes so they are unwearable.

This unsettling discovery was made by graduate student Cynthia Magnus outside the back entrance of H&M on 35th street in New York City. Just a few doors down, she also found hundreds of Wal-Mart tagged items with holes made in them that were dumped by a contractor. On December 7, she spotted 20 bags of clothing outside of H&M including, "gloves with the fingers cut off, warm socks, cute patent leather Mary Jane school shoes, maybe for fourth graders, with the instep cut up with a scissor, men’s jackets, slashed across the body and the arms. The puffy fiber fill was coming out in big white cotton balls.”

The New York Times points out that one-third of the city's population is poor, which makes this behavior not only wasteful and sad, but downright irresponsible. Wal-Mart spokeswoman, Melissa Hill, acted surprised that these items were found, claiming they typically donate all unworn merchandise to charity. When reporters went around the corner from H&M to a collections drop-off for charity organization New York Cares, spokesperson Colleen Farrell said, “We’d be glad to take unworn coats, and companies often send them to us."

After several days of no response from H&M, the company made a statement today, promising to stop destroying the garments at the midtown Manhattan location. They said they will donate the items to charity. H&M spokeswoman Nicole Christie said, "It will not happen again," and that the company would make sure none of the other locations would do so either. Hopefully that's the final word.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Do Something: New Year's Resolutions


It's that time again, when we reflect on the events of the past year with a mind to self improvement. Here are our 5 picks for this year's resolutions.

1) Get physically fit - for health's sake!
January is a very busy time in gyms and recreational centers, but most people sign up to sweat with weight loss in mind. If you want and need to lose weight then this is a noble resolution to make, but all of us can benefit from adopting a healthy fitness regimine. African-American teens are chronically "under-fit" and it is time that we all shaped up. Getting fit will increase your energy level, make your complexion glow, keep illness at bay, keep your mind sharp and yes, even make your clothes fit better. Give fitness a try, whether losing weight is among your goals or not, because being fit is great!

2) Give some of your time away - become a volunteer!
Now is the time to focus on our desire to help when the world seems determined to make us see how people cause hurt. There is great satisfaction in helping others, in doing something to somehow make the world a better place. In volunteering you can find out first hand how great it is to be among those who make a positive difference in this increasingly crazy world.

3) Study hard - plan for the future today!
It seems like an eternity has yet to pass before you have to worry about a career, but the clock is ticking faster than you realize. Before you know it you will be graduating into the adult world. Getting good grades now can help lay a solid foundation for you to make all of your dreams come true. By taking the time to do your best in school now you insure greater opportunities in life when you are an adult. The best favour the young you can do for the grown up you is make the extra effort to do well in school right now. Even if school is very difficult for you, even if you have a learning difference, you will always benefit from trying your very best.

4) Just say no! Stay away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
At Teen Advice we spend a lot of time looking at the darker temptations of youth; drugs, alcohol and smoking. Almost every teen will cross paths with one of these "foes" before they become adults, the trick to beating them is to be prepared for them. When trying one of these vices most teens site peer pressure as the number one factor in influencing them to experiment. This year, resolve to beat peer pressure whenever, and where ever, it challenges you.

5) Lose weight if you need to, stay fit if you don't.
Youth and dieting is a very controversial issue. While obesity in children and teens is at an all time high in the Western world, the reality of eating disorders and unrealistic ideals can't be ignored. Some teens really do need to lose weight but many do not. How can you tell if you should go on a diet? We have eight questions you must ask yourself before going on any sort of weight loss program.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!!


Happy New Year girls!!!
Time to make your new year's resolutions!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Capricorn!


When it comes to professionalism and traditional values, Capricorn wins hands-down. This practical sign loves to tackle life in the most conventional of ways, leaving no stone unturned. Considered the most serious-minded of the signs, the Capricorn possesses an independence that allows for considerable progress both personally and on the job.

Friends and Family

Combining a strong wit and a love of humor, the Capricorn makes terrific company for those they choose as friends. They will surround themselves with people who are honest, loyal, and like-minded when it comes to working values. They cherish loved ones and will go any distance to help a friend or family member. Traditional by nature, the Capricorn loves nothing more than holidays, such as Christmas, that bring people together with a variety of activities. Although a Capricorn isn't apt to have a large social circle, those included in this sign's life will find someone who is steadfast and true. Emotional displays are not common for a Capricorn. They would rather show how they feel through deeds than expression with words.

Work and Money

Ambition is the key word for this sign. The key phrase for Capricorn is I use. The Capricorn possesses a real knack for finding the right tool for the job and getting down to it. Starting at the bottom of the ladder and working their way to the top doesn't scare the Capricorn off. They will go the distance once a goal is set.

In addition to setting high standards for themselves, honesty, perseverance, and a dedication to duty make the Capricorn an excellent manager. Loyalty and a willingness to work as hard as necessary are qualities that this sign values greatly within themselves and in those around them. Careers in management, finance, teaching, and real estate are excellent choices.

Capricorns are resourceful and manage their time and money well. Every now and then, the urge to spend some hard-earned cash can see this sign packing some large shopping bags with fun and frivolous items out of the store. But as a rule, caution goes hand in hand with the Capricorn making practical purchases more likely than anything else. Multifunctional items are definitely favored.

Relationships
The Capricorn prefers to take things slow and steady. You won't see this sign jumping into anything head-first. Taking relationships one step at a time is the way of the Capricorn. Words can be few with this personality, yet actions speak volumes. The Capricorn values deeds and will go to great lengths to express their affections through them. They're great gift givers and don't bat an eye at the cost of spending a fantastic night out. Genuine and sincere, you can take what few words a Capricorn does say to the bank.

CAPRICORN TIDBITS

Colors
The color of choice for Capricorn is brown. In fact, most dark colors do well for this sign.

Gemstone
Capricorn's star stone is the black onyx.

Lucky Numbers
Capricorn's lucky numbers are 6, 8, and 9.

Compatibility
Capricorns are most compatible with Taurus and Virgo.

Opposite Sign
The opposite sign for Capricorn is Cancer.

The Perfect Gift
Practical, dark-colored, well-made clothing and high-tech gadgets

Likes
Family, tradition, quality craftsmanship, understated status, music

Dislikes
Almost everything at some point

Famous Capricorns
Michelle Obama, Mary J. Blige, Nicolas Cage, Tiger Woods, Jon Voight, Denzel Washington, Elvis Presley, Martin Luther King, Muhammad Ali

Best Travel Destination
Mexico, Cuba, India, Delphi, Oxford

Strengths
Responsible, good managers, disciplined, self-control, dark sense of humor

Weaknesses
Know-it-all, unforgiving, condescending, expecting the worst

Best environment
Positive work situation, urban environments with culture and style, anyplace to be in charge

New Music: The OMG Girlz


Tiny and Toya's daughter's have a new group called the OMG Girlz. Check out their new song, "Ain't Nobody."

Friday, December 11, 2009

U.S. teens ignore laws against texting while driving


Karen Cordova, a 17-year-old high school student and part-time supermarket cashier, admits she sometimes texts friends while driving home from work late at night, lonely and bored.

The Arizona teenager knows it's illegal in Phoenix and dangerous. She once almost drifted into oncoming traffic while looking at her phone.

But would a nationwide ban stop Cordova and her friends from texting in their cars? No way, she said.
"Nobody is going to listen," Cordova said.

The number of text messages is up tenfold in the past three years and Americans sent an estimated 1 trillion in 2009.
Some police agencies, while strongly in favor of such mandates, say its tough for officers to enforce them.

"But with the texting it's a little bit more of a challenge to catch them in the act, because we have to see it and if they are holding it down in their lap it's going to be harder for us to see."

Already 19 states and the District of Columbia ban texting by all drivers, while 9 others prohibit it by young drivers.

TEXTING CAUSES ACCIDENTS
In July, Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer, citing a study that found texting drivers were 23 times more likely to be in an accident, introduced a bill requiring states to prohibit the practice or risk losing federal highway funds.

The problem is not unique to the United States. In Britain, a public service announcement on texting while driving drew worldwide attention for its extremely graphic imagery.

Cordova's classmate, 17-year-old Anna Hauer, says she often texts her boyfriend when she drives and doubts she or her friends would stop because of new legislation.

"By the time they pull you over, the chances are you are going to be done with your text anyway so they can't exactly prove that you were texting," she said.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Are the new Barbie's "black" enough?


Some Parents are saying Mattel's new "So in Style" Black dolls made with wider noses and fuller lips in an array of skin tones are not Black enough, according to "Wall Street Journal". Parents are not too pleased with the straight, long hair and blue or green eye color that some of the dolls have. The dolls also feature the waif-like figure of Barbie dolls, not an accurate depiction of most women in general, much less Black women.

"I thought it was unfortunate that once again we're given a doll with hair that is so unlike the vast majority of black women," one mom said.

"If they had given the dolls short, kinky hair or an Afro, people might have complained that it was too Afro-centric... We're so hard and picky," another mother commented, reported "WSJ".

Mattel consulted a number of high profile Black women, including Cookie Johnson, Magic Johnson's wife, when creating their new line of dolls, created by designer Stacey McBride-Irby who sought to make a dolls that her daughter could identify with. McBride-Irby was a little shocked by the negative comments about the dolls.

The toy company plans to grow the line in 2010 adding more dolls to represent the differences in Black women, including one with an Afro. Mattel also plans to release a Black male "So In Style" doll named Darren.

So....what do you think? Check out the new line here

Ethnic pride key to black teen mental health


Ethnic pride may be as important as self-esteem to the mental health of young African-American adolescents, according to a new study in the Nov/Dec issue of the journal Child Development.

In their study, the researchers viewed self-esteem as the way adolescents feel about themselves as individuals, and ethnic pride as the way they feel about their ethnic group. Previous research generally has considered racial identity a proxy or sub-set of self-esteem.

The new study speaks to the importance of ethnic pride separate and apart from self-esteem. "Psychologists have been theorizing about this for years," Psychologist Jelani Mandara said. "Our empirical evidence indicates that we'll see African-American teens with fewer depressive symptoms if we pay more attention to building ethnic pride."

It's easier to build ethnic pride than it is to influence self-esteem, he added.

Using standard self-report measures, the authors assessed 259 African-American youths from six Chicago public schools when they were in the seventh grade and again a year later in the eighth grade.

In measuring racial identity, they focused on issues of ethnic pride and replaced phrases such as "I have a lot of pride in my ethnic group" with "I have a lot of pride in Black people." They did not address issues of culture or of "public regard" -- how others look at race -- in assessing ethnic identity.

The researchers found that both male and female students showed fewer depressive symptoms if their feelings of ethnic pride rose between seventh and eighth grade whether or not their self-esteem increased.

"The importance of self-esteem to adolescent mental health is well known and accepted," Mandara said. "But it is not uncommon for individuals to have high self-esteem and at the same time exhibit depressive symptoms. Research has long shown that African-American girls have higher self-esteem compared to other girls but also have more depressive symptoms."

The study found that the higher girls' self-esteem was, the more likely they were to report depressive symptoms. Mandara suggested that could be because African American girls often are charged with adult family responsibilities that make them feel competent but also cause them stress.

Determined Divas try to break the cycle of inner city life


Young women sit in a circle at the Danforth Community Center on West Avenue.

In the middle of the formation, Beverly Jackson, a city youth worker, paces.

“You’re all works in progress,” Jackson tells the 25 members of the group known as the Determined Divas, an organization she formed to redirect young women who are either gang members or associates of gangs.

At Jackson’s words, the Divas nod in agreement.

At some time or another, most of them have been suspended from school for fighting or for not showing up for classes. Many have troubled home lives. Some are, or have been, homeless.

They are, for sure, a challenge, a possibly lost generation of young women doomed to bleak futures by circumstances and their own anger. Beyond that, the resources to help them are in short supply.

But a group like the Determined Divas can save these girls and also lower the violence in Rochester, says Renee Turner, the vice principal of I’m Ready, a City School District program for students on long-term suspension from district schools.

“This is the start of something that could turn things around in this city for kids who need help,” Turner says. “…Taken to another level, this could be a national program.”

If it should become that, it will be a tribute to Jackson’s ability to convince young women that many of the things they have heard about themselves are wrong. They are not doomed to fail and to fight; they can change; they do have reason to believe.

“I don’t deal with hopeless chicks,” Jackson tells the girls in the circle, using her best drill sergeant voice. “You have to empower yourselves.”

The Divas were created earlier this year, after Turner asked Jackson to help address the fact that many of the young women in the I’m Ready program got there because of acts of violence. Girl violence has been a “hidden secret” in Rochester, Turner notes, overshadowed by violence among boys in gangs. But the violence among girls is persistent and dangerous, she adds, especially because knives are the “weapon of choice.”

The Divas included young women who had fought with each other, a possible obstacle to success. But the sessions focused on nonviolent ways to resolve conflict and on other coping skills. Jackson and others were there to listen, to advise, but not to judge.

Jackie Campbell, the director of the city’s Bureau of Youth Services, says that the group offered the young women a chance “to be in an environment where the boundaries are in place.”

Inspired by the girls’ enthusiasm for the gatherings, Jackson kept the meetings going over the summer and into the fall, the sessions taking place at the Danforth center. The membership has expanded beyond the original group as the word has gotten out.

Narasonda Gibbs, 17, is an original Diva, someone who was, in Turner’s words, “determined to fight no matter what.”

Gibbs carries reminders of that person on the back of her right hand where “Nonny” is tattooed in cursive. It’s her nickname, her street name, her alter ego.

“This is the angry person,” she says, moving her hand in a video interview with the Democrat and Chronicle. “This is the person who did mistakes in the past.”

When she knows she has her life together, Gibbs plans on having her real name, “Narasonda” tattooed on her left hand.

She’ll know it’s the right time when she has graduated from high school, when she has a steady job, when things are going well between her and her parents.

By her own account, Gibbs started fighting with other girls when she was 13. Before that, she loved school, got good grades and was happy.

Then something happened; anger took over and she got in a fight with another girl over a boy.

She was suspended from school. When she came back she got in another fight and got suspended again. What she calls a “constant pattern” had begun.

Gibbs, who has a gang’s brand on one arm, was squaring off against another girl early this year.

She thought she had been punched in the face, but actually she had been cut. Her blood was everywhere, and she was taken to an emergency room.

“I was scared; I was nervous,” she says. “When I got to the hospital, everything came out. I was crying; I was in pain.”

It took 26 stitches to close the wound, and she has been left with the scar, a reminder of what can go wrong when she loses control.

Life has been better this fall, she says.

“I feel like I’m living up to my expectations for myself,” says Gibbs, who attends Dr. Freddie Thomas High School. “To be a Diva, I have to keep my reputation up. If I hadn’t met Bev (Jackson), I don’t think I would have made it.”

Reasons for anger

Lizz Jackson, 14, a Determined Diva who is not related to Bev Jackson, quickly explains why it is that girls fight. “The gossip, the boys, the jealousy,” she says, going through a mental checklist.

Then there are other reasons. “I get mad at all kinds of stuff,” she says.

For sure, all of the Divas have reasons to be mad, to believe they have been short-changed by life.

In the video, one talks of her father being killed by a gunshot when she was 4; later she sees her mother abused. Others talk of fathers in jail or on their way to jail.

None of them speaks of stable lives.

Tonesha Jackson, who is 18 and not related to Beverly or Lizz Jackson, says that when she was little she moved a lot, and then she ticks off the elementary schools she attended: Schools 9, 22, 14, 7.

Then there was Charlotte High School and some time in a Muslim school. Throughout all of this relocation, she found herself uninterested in school.

For this, she blames no one but herself.

“It was my fault,” she says. “I was just young and dumb.”

“These girls are really trying to change,” Jackson says of her works in progress, her determined and hopeful Divas.

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Nicki Minaj explains the "Barbie Movement"

The newest female MC takes a moment to explain a new style she's introduced...The Barbie Movement. Check out the nameplate!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Princess Tiara toys are flying off store shelves!


More than 45,000 dolls have sold in less than a month with 17,000 selling last week alone. At one major retailer, The Princess and the Frog bedding has sold nearly triple the amount of regular Disney Princess bedding. At Disney Store locations nationwide and DisneyStore.com, the Princess Tiana role-play dresses are selling above all other Disney Princess characters.